Hiding, Hibernating, Hesitating
the (dreaded) beginning of a new year
This is me in January. Hiding. Hibernating. Hesitating.
Every year on January 1, I wake up with a bit of heaviness weighing me down.
Every single year.
I don’t know what it is about the Christmas holidays, but even more than after summer vacations or any other holidays throughout the year, I find it very difficult to get back to normal life.
I find it very challenging to respond to societal demands and more than any other time of year, I want to hide from the world. I know I am not the only one experiencing this as the famous ‘holiday blues’ seem to affect many people.
In my case, I wonder if it has anything to do with living in the far north where winter is only beginning, or simply with the fact that facing a new year with all its unknowns can always feel overwhelming.
I am not sure, but I have come to accept that this is how it is.
There have been many years in the past that by the end I gladly left behind. Many years, where a new beginning was welcome, and I happily kissed the old year goodbye with either the words “never again”, “thanks for many good memories”, or both. But not this past year. As the last day of the year approached, I hoped to hold onto 2024 just a bit longer, not because it was an amazing year. No, not exactly. It was an OK year, with some ups and downs, joys and tears, and some beautiful and hard moments, but overall stable and even a bit boring and ordinary. And maybe that’s just it. I guess I liked the stable and somewhat boring and ordinary of 2024.
As I look ahead, the new year has barely started and I already feel overwhelmed. As always, it will be a year filled with busy schedules, but also important decisions and changes. It will be a year with moments to look forward to, but also many tasks and responsibilities that have to be accomplished. It will be a year with many unknowns like any other year. Because, in the end, we can plan all we want, but ultimately we don’t know what the future holds. In the end, all we have is today.
And yet, I can’t quite shake the anxiety about the upcoming year.
I have never been a big fan of New Year’s resolutions, but I have always been a big fan of starting out the new year slowly, of taking each day as it comes, of trying to live each day to the best of my abilities, developing the skill to stay in the present and trust that everything will unfold at the right time and that we don’t need all the answers beforehand.
In my first letter of 2025, I would like to share Rainer Maria Rilke’s famous quote that always brings me comfort:
“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.”
Looking Ahead
I am very grateful for all the new subscribers I have received over the last month. Thank you so much for your interest in my work and my writing!
In addition to my weekly essays that, as of recently, come out every Sunday (except today for all the reasons mentioned above), I also host a ‘Creative Hour’ (suggestions for a better name are welcome!) once a month on Zoom for paid subscribers where we meet and discuss topics on creativity and art, share new or old work, and give feedback and suggestions. I am always open to questions regarding my work and creative process as well.
I have taught many workshops over the last few years and connected with wonderful artists. This Zoom session has been a great opportunity to reconnect and continue the process of sharing and learning from each other.
Our next session is scheduled for Saturday, January 18, 11 am CST.
Upcoming Workshop At Maine Media
Join me for a three-week online workshop in February that delves into the world of creating multiple exposure images. This workshop is designed to expand your creative vision and elevate your photographic skills. Class meets Tuesdays & Fridays, Feb 11, 14, 18, 21, 25 & 28 from 11:30 am -1:30 pm ET.
We begin this workshop with a step-by-step introduction to combining two or more images in Adobe Photoshop. You will learn to use blending modes, layer masks, and other tools and adjustments essential for creating multiple exposure. As you practice these techniques throughout the initial sessions, we’ll also explore creating multiple exposures in-camera. Through experimentation with different settings and reviewing results, we will learn the advantages and disadvantages of both methods. Additionally, we will study the work of various photographers who employ multiple exposures in their art.
Click HERE to read more!
Thank you so much for taking time out of your day to read my newsletter!
I love "Live the questions now."
Great post.
Manuela, I think we really benefit in the antipodes from having new year's in the summer. Its the middle of the long summer holidays, there is lots to do, the weather is good. Less thinking, more outside time certainly helps.