The reason I crave so much beauty in my life is because otherwise I would go insane in this broken and messy world.
I mean it.
I truly believe I would.
Looking back, and looking deep down, my whole life has been one long pursuit of beauty, every moment of every day. I strive to pay attention and notice the beauty in my surroundings because I want to and need to believe that beauty always exists despite the floods, flames, famines, and ferocious wars.
Beauty exists and continues to exist.
In the early morning, I love to observe the light, the way it falls through my window onto my bedroom walls;
the way the curtains move slightly, almost imperceptibly, as if secretly dancing and playing with the sunlight;
the way the bed linens feel on my naked legs and feet. I love that feeling.
Beauty.
Maybe the reason I light a candle every morning after I get up is because it reminds me that it only takes a small light to shut out the darkness. A small, warm and beautiful light.
The reason I believe I would go insane without beauty is because my highly sensitive mind and soul is hugely receptive to pain and suffering in this world, and I need beauty in my life to not be completely weighed down by the heaviness.
Beauty outweighs suffering. Beauty emerges from suffering, Beauty emerges from disaster. Beauty emerges from the ashes. Look around you.
It’s astonishing, really.
My whole life has been and continues to be one big pursuit of beauty. I have always known that.
Even during the dark days in the past, when depression used to invade my brain and body, when anxiety overtook my whole mind, I think it was all about pursuing beauty and, in those moments, being unable to find it.
In many ways depression and anxiety is the appropriate response to the chaos of this world.
How could it not be?
And if we ourselves can’t find the beauty in moments of despair, we need others to point out the beauty for us, not necessarily with words. Silence is often better than any words. We need others to show us. We need others to show up, silently, gently, not in denial of the darkness but to calmly place beauty next to the darkness, and keep doing it with patience, diligence, and gentle insistence, so that beauty will eventually outweigh the darkness again.
I think I have always known that I wanted to be an artist, that I needed to do something that could fill this desire for beauty, at least to an extent. I have always known that my desire for beauty needed to turn into actively participating in the manifestation of beauty.
Because being sensitive to suffering and pain is not only a burden but also a gift. In the face of suffering, I can take the pain and turn it into beauty. And creating more beauty in the face of suffering brings about connection, real and true connection.
We all need beauty in our lives because we were all created equally in an inherently beautiful world, and we were all given the gift of creativity whether we are aware of it or not.
The reason I believe that we all have the gift of creativity is because creativity is so much more than painting a canvas or composing a song.
We don’t have to be artists to contribute to beauty because a simple smile can be a gift of beauty. Or we can give flowers to someone. It sounds so simple, and it is. It’s never a waste to give flowers because flowers are part of our vast and beautiful world, and generously sharing beauty with others is not wasteful but necessary.
Generously sharing beauty multiplies into joy. And we all need more joy.
We are inherently creative beings, all of us. You know why I believe that? Because, without exception, we all experience suffering, pain and loss, and yet we keep going. It takes the pursuit of beauty and creativity to keep rebuilding your life after loss.
I believe art is needed in this world as much as ever because art can make the often intangible depth of the human experience tangible. Art can express what we need to be reminded of.
Art does not deny the existence of darkness, but it reminds us that beauty exists in spite of it.
Beauty exists. Always.
Come what may, I will continue on with my pursuit of beauty.
Items of Note
Our next “Creative Hour” for paid subscribers is scheduled for Saturday, February 22 at 11 am CST.
We meet for about one hour on Zoom and anyone is invited to share work, ask questions, or bring up questions for discussion. I always have a theme for the month, in case we have nothing to share or talk about, but, so far that hasn’t happened. :)
The sessions will be recorded from now on and I will share the link for those who couldn’t participate or would like to re-watch it. I sent the link from our recent session through threads for paid subscribers only.
Thank you to those who could join last Saturday! It was wonderful to see you all.
Upcoming Workshops
My workshop at Maine Media on “The Art of Multiple Exposure” (online) starts Tuesday, February 11. Click here to read more about it and to register!
My workshop “Diptychs, Triptychs and Beyond” at Los Angeles Center for Photography (online) starts on Tuesday, April 29. Click here to register and read more about this class!
Thank you as always for reading!
Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments or support my work by sharing this post, or both. I appreciate it.
Thank you, just what I needed to read today.
TRUTH, love...and beauty in this post. I too am a beauty-seeker. Thank you for the inspiration today.