When I was a kid in Germany, Christmas time was a time full of anticipation, much like it was and is for many kids in America. I remember that on the Saturday before the first Sunday of Advent (the 4 weeks or so leading up to Christmas), my parents decorated the house with greenery, a wooden nativity set, some paper stars in the windows, an Advent calendar filled with small chocolates, and, most importantly, the Advent wreath on our living room table. It marked the beginning of the festive season and of, what felt to me then as, an impossibly long (but exciting) time of waiting. The time of Advent was a time filled with preparations: cleaning, baking, cooking and, of course, secretly shopping for (and hiding) presents. The house smelt of baked goods, pine needles, and candles. I remember that one year I gave into temptation and searched around for presents a few days before Christmas while my parents were out running an errand, and when I found one that was meant for me, I immediately regretted it. What I didn’t know then but know now is that anticipation of surprise is often the best part of so many experiences, and ruining the surprise takes away a big chunk of the joy. I never searched for Christmas presents again after that.
In Germany, as with most other countries in Europe, presents are opened on Christmas Eve rather than Christmas morning. So the traditions are a bit different, but have the same kind of joy and wonder.
On the morning of Christmas Eve, my parents would finally bring in the Christmas tree that had been sitting outside on our patio for days, and we all decorated it together. My siblings and I had to then help clean up and vacuum the house while my mother made lunch for us. After lunch, we were sent to our rooms, and the living room area was completely off limits until the evening. When we were very young, we had to lay down and “nap”, which, of course, rarely meant actual sleeping. Around mid-afternoon, we put on our best clothes to attend church, and then, finally, after a special and delicious dinner, the waiting was nearly over. My parents sent us back into our rooms for a bit while they scurried around getting all the presents together and carefully setting them under the tree. They then proceeded to light the candles on the Christmas tree - yes, real candles! - and throughout the room. Right before my father called us to come in, he would turn on festive Christmas music. That moment of walking into the living room with all the sights, smells, and sounds had the magic that it did because of the anticipation leading up to it.
We always sang a few Christmas carols accompanied by my father playing the piano. Then, finally, we opened presents, followed by eating snacks, chatting, playing games, and staying up quite late, only to continue playing, chatting, eating, and relaxing the next day. I loved Christmas growing up, and I appreciate even more now how my parents built the anticipation for us by creating a festive, cozy, and magical atmosphere that increased throughout the weeks of Advent. It was worth the wait.
Waiting is hard. We spend a lot of time waiting. We wait at the airport, at the store checkout, and at the doctor’s office. We wait for the water to boil, and for the package to arrive; we wait for the snow to melt and for Spring to return to bring brighter, warmer and longer days.
Waiting is hard when we hope for something, and waiting is especially difficult in the midst of the unknown, when hope is harder to maintain. Waiting requires patience and time, two attributes that we in our fast-paced society often lack.
Ironically, our modern world is designed to be increasingly faster and more efficient. Newly-updated gadgets are constantly being marketed as “the-one-tool-that-will-make-life-so-much-easier”. Eliminating the need for waiting seems to be one of the foremost goals of the 21st century product. We have immediate access to whatever information we need, we have one-day deliveries for things we want, texting and emailing provide us instantaneous communication. The word ‘instant’ has become a branding and marketing tool and a way of life, and we expect quick and often immediate results. It startles us when something takes longer than expected. Waiting is an annoying inconvenience, a negative occurrence to be avoided at all costs.
And yet, it appears that everything designed to make our lives better and help us save time, instead often complicates them, filling our time up to the brim, and ultimately leading us to live faster and be busy, distracted and overwhelmed on a daily basis.
How is it possible that we have less and less time when everything around us is designed to help us save time?
Over the last few years, I have been craving slowness and stillness in my life. The older I get, the more simple I want life to be, with fewer things to manage and own and more intentional living. But instead, I often find myself rushing and hustling and getting impatient when I am asked to wait…for anything. In my mind, I am always one step ahead, thinking about the next task I need to do.
How difficult it has become to do nothing, how difficult it has become to wait, to solely wait, be still and patient.
When I think about a slower life, I don’t mean escaping from my life to a cabin in the woods. Though that does sound nice, for most of us it is not realistic, at least for me where I am at in my life right now. What I am craving has more to do with an inner stillness and inner slowness in the midst of chaos instead of changing my circumstances, a lifelong process to say the least.
As wonderful as it is that technology connects us in an instant with people from all over the world, it appears that the instant connection online is often disconnecting us from the people right next to us, distracting us from living our own lives, and is taking much of the stillness that we are in desperate need of. We are all aware of it and we are all trying to fight our own demons and issues with the overwhelming amount of technology that has invaded our most personal and private spaces. I don’t need to say much more about it.
What I am saying is that maybe we are missing our chances to become more still through times of waiting.
Maybe waiting shouldn’t become something to try to fix or avoid, but embraced as a chance and an opportunity to become still in the midst of busyness.
Maybe we can try to intentionally choose the slower option instead of what is the most convenient.
Maybe we can choose to pause instead of distract ourselves through scrolling.
Maybe waiting is never a waste of time, but instead is a gift of time.
Maybe waiting provides the space to look up and smile at someone who needs it.
Maybe waiting brings an opportunity for real connection.
Maybe waiting can be a time to listen, pay attention and gain clarity.
Maybe waiting makes room for all the small joys and blessings that we might otherwise miss.
Maybe it is in waiting that the light can return when darkness envelops our lives.
Maybe it is in waiting that hope can be experienced in an increasingly despairing world.
Thank you for reading and your continued support! During this busy season of hustling, I am wishing you many moments of waiting filled with stillness.
As always, I would love to hear your thoughts in the comment section, and feel free to share this post with someone who might enjoy reading it.
Mark Your Calendars
Last month, I hosted my first Zoom session on this platform and it went very well. This once a month ‘creative hour’ is a way to share work with each other, and provide time and space for review, feedback, questions, discussions on creativity, vision, techniques, and more. The next session will be on Saturday, December 14 at 11 am CST. This Zoom session will be accessible for paid subscribers only.
However, if that is keeping you away, here is a link where you can donate the monthly amount for one session and you can participate as well.
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Please send me a quick message if you plan on participating. I will send out the Zoom link one day before the scheduled time. Thank you so much!
Beautiful, it felt like I was there seeing the images of your Christmas in front of my eyes! I only now discovered that you are German. I am Swiss! So all this is very familiar to me. Thank you for sharing❤️
I am glad you have happy memories of Christmas with your family. I have had to do some waiting recently in my life and sometimes it brought fear and anxiety. Although more recently I have been feeling more peace in the experiencing the stillness. I have found more trust and strength in God.